there comes a time when you get separated from your loved ones. its either getting separated from the only guy/girl you’ve ever loved and you think there is no chance of you being re-united or being separated from your family and you hardly get to see them again. life really is hard, but i guess we have to live with it. even if you love that person, you’re just going to have to think “things happen for a reason”.
i personally do not believe in that saying. why? okay.. who can explain to me to why i didn't even get caught up with my nan before she passed away? i mean i admit i wasn’t the perfect grandaughter, i didn't always did what she wanted me to do but i loved her so much and for one last time i didnt even get to feel the warmth from her hand or her warm comforting words. what was that? karma or was it just how it was really suppose to go? but since then, i never really got my hopes up on anything anymore. i’m telling you this because, my ina-po (nan) was the closest person in my heart and we got separated in 2003. i was so stupid, that back then i told her "ina-po, promise that i would never leave you until God takes you". but did i ever keep that promise? no. because i was the stupid little girl who never really understood what promises meant. i don’t know if us two being separated was how it was meant to be but for goodness sake it was the worst decision ever to come cross my life.
you guys might think i’m being such a drama queen, but for once in my life when i had my ina-po that was the time when i actually had someone to catch me without me realizing it. now? i’m separated from my loved ones. to some people, they can really handle being separated to their family, as if its a piece of cake to them. but for me, it's the hardest thing ever. sometimes i think to myself- would have anything changed if i was with them this whole time? sometimes i don't even know what i'm doing with my life anymore. do you know that feeling? it’s like, life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.
to those people who got separated from the 'love of their life', the feeling is completely different. you'll start to ask questions like 'what if everything changes?', 'is it suppose to be like this?', 'what if there isn’t a happy ending to my story?' those kind of questions are the ones that hurt. but we have to face the fact that life isn’t always about having a laugh or finding your perfect prince charming or spending time with your loved ones all the time. one day you're gonna have to let go of them but don’t let them get far away that you can’t feel them anymore. let them get separated from you but don’t let them go which will lead to a tragic ending. we have to learn from our mistakes and move on. because if we don’t move on and be strong with what has happened, we’re never going to get our happy ending.
now, whenever i make a promise- i keep it.