Time does fly.

My goodness, time does fly.

this morning i was at the bus stop waiting for the usual bus i get, to get to school. & then something hit me (not literally), time’s gone sooo quick. i mean, i have realized it before. but this morning, it made it all clear to me. it was as if only yesterday i was in year 6.

everyone says, time goes so quick.. but i feel like the more people say that- the more time does go quick. it's almost christmas again soon, then after christmas- new year! it's as if that one year has only been one whole hour.

when i was little, i never thought of going or moving to abroad. i never really thought about future then. all i thought about was playign with my best friend and wave to an aeroplane when ever i would see one pass by. coz back then, i always thought that my mom was in every single one of those aeroplanes.

here's the story...
since i was 2, my mum moved to aborad to find a better job. and she did, i just had to put up with the fact that i won’t be seing her as often as i could. so then, i got used to my nan (ina-po), cousins, aunties and uncle taking care of me. although, when i was little i never really thought about much. how life goes, how we had to save up money and how your loved ones have to sacrifice for you to get a better life.

it's just so fast. i miss the early days, i miss my old classmates, i miss my old school and i miss my lolo & lola (grandparents).

i hate it when time just flashes before your eyes, you get this feeling that you’re not satisfied with what just happened. so, quick tip: do what you have to do, be what you want yourselves to be, be happy & just be thankful with what & who you have in your life.

It's not always about sinking to the bottom.

in life, you're not always sinking. ofcourse there's good bits. life has it’s ups & downs so just try to live with it. i’m not saying don’t do anything about it but try to keep your reasons into a minimum level.

before these past couple of weeks, i never really thought about writing a blog. but one day, me and my family talked online. we got to talking, the usual 'how are you', and then me & ate (sister) monette got to talking about blogs. she asked me if i write my own blogs. i said no, but after reading her blog- ‘the babysitter… bow’, i got to thinking that- writing blogs isn’t just about talking non sense. its about letting people out there know how you specifically feel.

anyway, as i was saying. it’s not always about sinking to the bottom. we have commitments, promises and lies. but the truth is, to survive what ever you’re sinking at.. we’re just going to have to be brave & just be adventurous. we can’t always be happy, we have to be sad sometimes- either heartbroken or homesick, we’re just going to have say “i can do this”.

It's not because you have to, it's becausse you need to.

there comes a time when you get separated from your loved ones. its either getting separated from the only guy/girl you’ve ever loved and you think there is no chance of you being re-united or being separated from your family and you hardly get to see them again. life really is hard, but i guess we have to live with it. even if you love that person, you’re just going to have to think “things happen for a reason”.

i personally do not believe in that saying. why? okay.. who can explain to me to why i didn't even get caught up with my nan before she passed away? i mean i admit i wasn’t the perfect grandaughter, i didn't always did what she wanted me to do but i loved her so much and for one last time i didnt even get to feel the warmth from her hand or her warm comforting words. what was that? karma or was it just how it was really suppose to go? but since then, i never really got my hopes up on anything anymore. i’m telling you this because, my ina-po (nan) was the closest person in my heart and we got separated in 2003. i was so stupid, that back then i told her "ina-po, promise that i would never leave you until God takes you". but did i ever keep that promise? no. because i was the stupid little girl who never really understood what promises meant. i don’t know if us two being separated was how it was meant to be but for goodness sake it was the worst decision ever to come cross my life.

you guys might think i’m being such a drama queen, but for once in my life when i had my ina-po that was the time when i actually had someone to catch me without me realizing it. now? i’m separated from my loved ones. to some people, they can really handle being separated to their family, as if its a piece of cake to them. but for me, it's the hardest thing ever. sometimes i think to myself- would have anything changed if i was with them this whole time? sometimes i don't even know what i'm doing with my life anymore. do you know that feeling? it’s like, life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.

to those people who got separated from the 'love of their life', the feeling is completely different. you'll start to ask questions like 'what if everything changes?', 'is it suppose to be like this?', 'what if there isn’t a happy ending to my story?' those kind of questions are the ones that hurt. but we have to face the fact that life isn’t always about having a laugh or finding your perfect prince charming or spending time with your loved ones all the time. one day you're gonna have to let go of them but don’t let them get far away that you can’t feel them anymore. let them get separated from you but don’t let them go which will lead to a tragic ending. we have to learn from our mistakes and move on. because if we don’t move on and be strong with what has happened, we’re never going to get our happy ending.

now, whenever i make a promise- i keep it.